Reducing Emotional Pain Through Menses & Menopause

Menses didn't use to be Taboo. Women went to be together, it was a sacred time, not a time of banishment.

The Native American Moon Dance is about men giving thanks for the life they were given by a woman's sacrifice. In some tribes, men cut their arm and allow it to bleed in order to represent the pain of childbirth and their gratitude.

Blood is life giving. It also represents sacrifice and sacrificial giving.

The color red represents the Life Death Life cycles.

Having your period went from a beautiful time of initiation to competition. The girls who hadn't gotten their period in my Jr. High were shunned. I was close to being one of the last girls to get mine and I was fearful that I 'would' be the last.

When I was working my way through Menopause I thought at one point I might bleed to death. As my periods got further apart, the blood flow, when it did flow--was heavy and bright red with large blood clots.

The emotional pain of losing my father, a Military Veteran, to suicide just before my Senior year of High School and a few months later losing my dance career to a gymnastics accident crept in once again during the Menopausal years.

Even though I felt stuck many times in my life, I eventually discovered new perspectives that reduce the emotional pain that can flare up during our menstrual cycle and/or during our menopausal years.


#1. Pain is a messenger. Trusting and nurturing our spirit is the key to releasing pain.

Every woman is different. We all write our own story. Just like in childbirth, we can only prepare for our periods or menopause by being open to the journey--by releasing control and by noticing what is going on within us.

Pain wakes us up. It shows us what is important and gives us the 'umph' to make serious change.

Pain brings up questions like:

"Am I happy?"

"Am I getting enough 'Me time'?"

"Am I getting enough 'Creative time' in my life?"

And statements like:

"I'm not happy."

"I am not getting enough 'Me time'."

"I am not getting enough 'Creative time' in my life?"

Being Happy raises our vibration. When we raise our vibration, we raise the vibration of others.


#2. Overwhelm. I can easily get into Overwhelm. I now know I have a choice to stay there or to check-in and make a decision to take an action that will get me out of Overwhelm or allow me to ease into it.

Noticing what keeps us individually stable is crucial for our success. If we are rigid, we will break. Taking a look at what has gotten me out of Overwhelm in the past is very helpful. For me it's taking a walk. I can also parent myself which keeps me out of Victim Mode. For example, the Self-conversation goes like this: "I'm cold." "Put on a sweater."

Changing our mindset, changes our emotions, which in turn puts us into ease and flow no matter what is going on in our body.


Moon time and Menopause can be very confusing times in a woman's life and yet Confusion is a Lie. 'I have to', 'I should', and 'I can't' are also lies. They are the lies we tell ourselves. We can rid ourselves of those lies by noticing the words we are using and by noticing our 'Lack Mentality'. A great way to pull out of lack is to notice what did go right or what we did accomplish for the day, even if it was to rest and take time for ourselves.


Staying in touch with what REALLY lights us up--keeps us in flow and enables us to take aligned action.


Living fully present from your Soul is about noticing what is coming up for you as your body and mind begin to shift.


These new rhythms will get you in touch with who you really are. Dancing through these years is about learning the next step, opening up, exploring and moving forward. Fear holds us back, it contracts us if we choose to make excuses for it. We have a choice in how we choose to show up in the world. We can show up making excuses and live in fear or we can show up expansive and in a creative, loving and joyful way. The truth is there is nothing to fear except the fear and the hold it can have on us.

Puffing up all of our cells and allowing fear to pass through us is a great way to deal with fear. The Sufi's go to the back of their heart. When you do that, your chest rises and your shoulders lower, your body is now in a calmer and more relaxed position. Reaching your arms out like a ballet dancer pose and imagining all of your cells puffing up will give you the feeling of expansion.

You can now use your 'Red Tent' time to pull back and go within--releasing rage vs. raging at others. This can be a beautiful and empowering experience. When we shift our perspective around menopause, our emotions no longer control us. We are no longer numbed out. Everything just is and we stay out of judgement, fear and overwhelm. This in turn allows us to make space to implement noticing skills.

The greatest tip or Mantra that I learned from my mother was: This too shall pass.